I love the NHL. It’s crazy. I love the NHL.

Hockey seems to be a somewhat more acceptable sport for women to be fans of; probably because if you were born Canadian and you’re a good Canadian girl, you’re pretty much required to love hockey. And to me, the NHL has all the action, drama, heroes and villains that you could find in any prime-time TV show (and we ain’t talking ProStars). In fact, I was just saying to a friend the other day how the NHL is just rife with reality-TV plotlines. And I would totally watch it, oh yes I would.

Speaking of drama and (un)intentional hilarity, I present to you James Van Riemsdyk: second-choice draft pick overall for the Philadelphia Flyers in 2007. In the words of my colleague over at Best Pucking Bets: “He’s underage, but he’s supposed to be in shape and getting good grades. Instead, he’s passing out at parties with cocks drawn on him.” Behold:

The Flyers must be so proud.  (I particularly enjoy the “NHL!” scrawl. Cheer up, young Van Riemsdyk, you might turn out to be the next Kyle Wellwood!)

Something better for Philadelphia to look forward to: their match with the Toronto Maple Leafs tomorrow night. The game looks like it’ll definitely be tilting in Philly’s favor — watch for the NHL lines to confirm it. In the meantime, there’s some great Devils vs Penguins odds, which is definitely a no-brainer since Brodeur’s still out on injury and Sid the Kid is finally looking up to form. The Pens are 13-8 against the spread, you say? I’m liking those odds as much as I like the Penguins,a Northbet Favorite, which is to say: a whole lot.

Keep warm if you’re on the ice this weekend! I’m going to heat things up with this sweet pic of goaltending ubercutie Vesa Toskala:

Toronto media can shut their yaps. Finns always do it better.

It may be Thanksgiving today, but even a hundred crepe-paper turkeys couldn’t cover the mass amounts of Christmas decorations currently trussing up storefronts everywhere. The jolly old elf comes in less than one month, and when I think of the holiday season, you know what I think? College football bowl games, that’s what — especially Rose Bowl odds and Fiesta Bowl odds. Blame it on having football-loving cousins spending the holidays monopolizing the TV so they can yell at bad pigskin passes all day…Though I suppose I ought to thank my family for those times, as they served as a springboard for my own adult love of the game! It really is a time for family.

(You just know they’re watching the Chick-fil-A Bowl with bated breath)

Despite the wacky names and sponsors (though it IS only right that Tostitos hosts the Fiesta Bowl) and the fact that pretty much anybody can buy a bowl game if they’re a millionaire, the bowl games make for college football betting at their finest. What better way to try and earn money to pay off those massive credit card bills from the holidays? Your sportsbook holds all the answers. Maybe if you wager enough, the payoff will be so big you can buy your own bowl game next year! Wishful thinking, my friends — it’s what the holidays are all about.

But I digress — personally, I’m thinking Trojans and Penn State for my Rose Bowl pick, and of course Texas Tech to make an appearance in Fiesta Bowl lines (you DO know Texas is gonna run all over A&M tonight, right?) — but against who? That’s the question that the next month of NCAA football will hopefully answer. Pass the salsa.

(Image courtesy The Onion. Love me some Onion!)

Take it from Paula Deen: This Thursday is America’s favorite day of gluttony, be it on Thanksgiving goodness or the thrill of going over those sweet, sweet NFL betting lines. Personally, given my dual nature as both bitchin’-in-the-kitchen and football-cheering tomboy, I try to get the best of both worlds: cooking up a storm and then relaxing to watch some NFL. Here’s some of my favorite recipes for the day: Sweet Potato Casserole with Bacon (I’m sure I’m not the only one who gags at the idea of combining sweet potatoes with marshmallows), Firecracker Cornbread, Sauteed Green Beans, Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes (hey, this girl likes her starches), and a truly wicked Herb and Garlic Turkey. That’s a lot of foodie goodness.

But hey, who says the lady’s place is always in the kitchen? By all means, if you’ve got a man around, don’t let him have all the NFL-watching fun — get him involved to help you make the meal, and so long as there is no yelling, fire, or throwing of utensils, you’ll have a good bonding time together. Then you can both sit down with some awesome home-cooked Thanksgiving food and chill with the third member of most American families: the television. Specifically, NFL action!

Thanksgiving Thursday in the NFL sees the Eagles vs Cardinals line and Titans vs Lions odds. For the former, I’m liking the Cardinals, if only because I’ve been burnt by the Eagles in this year’s NFL betting before, and I can’t say I’ve liked it. Never mind the fact that Philly’s got a 3-point advantage — I know what my female instinct says, and it says to bet on Arizona for the win.

In the case of the latter, it’s a bit more of a no-brainer for anybody, female or no: Titans, the Northbet Favs are the best pick. Seriously, it looks to me like Tennessee has the best chance to run away with the whole thing, and Detroit has just been painful this season. Anybody who knows their sportsbook should know that the Titans are the best bet here.

Now go forth, eat turkey, bet on sports and be merry! (Just don’t end up with a Sarah Palin-style turkey incident, okay?)

In preparation for my upcoming viewing of Quantum of Solace (mmmm, Daniel Craig), I rewatched the 2006 remake of Casino Royale over the weekend and was reminded of how intense those casino scenes are. Bond practically being back from the dead and going face to face with a creepy Frenchman with bleeding eyes just sorta added to that.

Saying nothing for the swimsuit shots earlier in the movie, of course…

Of course. He can gamble with my chips any day…

Anyway, so I got to thinking about the stylishness that the 007 franchise brought to the cinema-style casino setting, and then thought about just how many casino movies there are. Never mind all the detractors who try to paint real-world Las Vegas as a garish sea of neon lights, hookers and depravity — of course, it is that if you want it to be, but what these films emphasize is that casinos are signs of big money and high class. And are they ever! (Trust me, I’ve been to Vegas. There’s nothing like the sight of the city from your hotel room at night, all lit up down below. Amazing!)

Let’s go through a few of them together:

Diamonds Are Forever – Keeping in tune with the 007 theme, here’s foxy Sean Connery as Bond going up against a villainous millionaire casino owner (as if there are any other kind). Girls love casinos and girls love diamonds — what better combination for a movie? Oh yeah, did I mention Sean Connery?

21 – One of the newest on the list got sorta panned at the box office, but it’s a fascinating (true) story nonetheless: MIT math geniuses are trained to become card-counting experts and, subsequently, win millions from Vegas casinos. The movie, being Hollywood, is full of beautiful people, romance, action, intrigue, and Kevin Spacey.

Casino – You just can’t go wrong with the premise of this Scorsese thriller: mobsters meet Vegas. It also provides a look at how deep the mob was involved with casinos in the 70′s and 80′s, as well as the perfect casting of Sharon Stone as a gold-digging trophy wife.

Rounders – Eye candy for the ladies all over the place with this one! Matt Damon and Edward Norton give Daniel Craig a run for his hot-bettor money as a pair of gamblers – one reformed and one deep in debt – putting it all on the line for one last world series of poker game. Funny how Damon’s longtime buddy Ben Affleck is a real-life poker champ.

Ocean’s Eleven – You want more eye candy? You got it with this one: George Clooney, Matt Damon (again), Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck (wonder if he picked up big bro’s talent?), and a cast of stars lead this caper about a group of eleven hucksters out to rob three Vegas casinos at once. More humorous than the last few movies on the list, plus there’s the 1960s original to check out if you want some retro hotness from the good ol’ Rat Pack.

Lucky You – Another newer flick, this one didn’t take all at the box office but had a great pair of stars nonetheless in Eric Bana and Drew Barrymore. With Bana as a hotshot poker player (again, is there any other type?) trying to rebuild his life in Vegas and Barrymore as the woman who falls in love with him, there’s plenty of drama and intensity in this one. Get a few tissues though, just in case.

13 Tzameti – Okay, this one doesn’t take place in a casino, but it definitely is about gambling — with human lives. A good cautionary tale thriller for those who get too into wagering. A person ain’t a poker chip!

But for those of us who enjoy checks as much as chips, there’s some bodily harm on the way tonight in the form of Monday Night Football betting — specifically, Packers vs Saints odds. Although we all know Ms. Kardashian will be cheering for her man Reggie Bush, who’s recently returned to the Saints, the Packers still make a better pick. They’ve got both defence and offense locked up tight, and no celebrity girlfriend can work as a good luck charm against that. Just ask Tony Romo.

If you happened to live in any sort of metropolitan city that has anything resembling a megaplex movie theatre, chances are you saw a phenomenon last night that’s usually relegated to Star Wars fanatics and Harry Potter lovers: Day-long lineups for a midnight screening. The movie in subject is, of course, the ubiquitous Twilight.

Twilight, for those not under 15, over 35, or male, is a literary quadrilogy about the heartwarming saga of a clingy, vapid, obsessive teenage girl and her possessive, over-protective, domineering vampire boyfriend. It’s a love story for the ages, really. But somehow, something in there clicked with the minds, hearts and wallets of millions of readers out there (mostly, as aformentioned, the under-15-over-35-not-male crowd), and the entertainment business, savvy beast that it is, capitalized almost immediately by making a movie adaptation — one that’s currently sitting at a 44% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics can be so cruel.

The entertainment business, however, is also smart in the way of oddsmaking — Twilight opening box office odds are -115 for both over and under $52 million, and there’s also picks for how many weeks it’ll be at number one in the domestic box office. Your best odds there are to bet on two weeks — it’s a reasonable amount of time for a (*cough*) masterpiece such as Twilight to stay at #1, and at +200, there’s some good value in that pick. Will it be the new Titanic, with months and months at the top? Probably not, but at least you can try to rake in James Cameron-level dough.

Hang on, wait a sec — what about that boy wizard I mentioned earlier? My girl Summer’s got that covered for ya with her Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince betting odds. She makes a pretty good argument for HP’s three-day opening to be bigger than Iron Man, taking into account the plunging American economy as well. But hey, if we can’t lose ourselves in one young wizard’s epic bildungsroman of a movie series, then what, really, can we find escape in? Look for all the unabated and unimpressed non-Twi-hards to keep their cash for their beloved Harry and friends, and the rest of us to use our dollars to bet exotics online.

(By the way, Angel >>> Edward. No question!)

Alright, so here’s the thing: No matter what my sportsbook record attests to, I love NCAA football almost more than the NFL.

Why, you ask? Hard to say. Maybe it’s because the college football players are closer to my own age (which will remain a secret, as I am first and foremost a lady — a lady who likes bloodsports, but a lady still). Maybe it’s because it’s heartening to see how much crazed, body-painted support these teams get from staff, fellow students and their communities, as well as across America. Maybe it’s because, unlike their big-league counterparts, college football players for the most part have not yet graduated to shooting up clubs, hotel-room brawling with bodyguards, repeated drug use offences, dogfighting organizing, and beating on women. (This does not include any less-than-savory behavior on the part of their cheerleaders.)

There are also about fifty kabillion NCAAF teams (including the unfortunately-named Alabama Crimson Tide) in a gazillion divisions, so it’s not so easy to keep `em straight. Here are two of the big ones, going head to head this Saturday: Texas Tech vs Oklahoma.

Mmmm, smells like barbeque! Good thing I’m not on a diet…

Anyway, despite the fact that the Red Raiders have been a huge surprise this season, it still looks like a David vs. Goliath story when they’re up against the massively powerful Sooners. Yet, as any faithful reader of the Bible knows, David gave Goliath a beatdown, and that’s precisely what’s gonna happen on Saturday. Texas Tech is coming off a better record for wins right now, and their defense is huge. NCAA football lines are saying it looks like the Sooners will get trounced, thus bringing TT a step closer to the BCS Championship.

Go get `em, Reds!

Hi! Hello! How are you? How was your weekend? Okay, enough pleasantries, time to get back down and dirty with NFL football odds — because it is Monday, after all, and the only good thing about Mondays is Monday Night Football betting. Because hey, it’s always a good chance to earn back some of the cash you dropped at the bars and clubs all weekend long! (In my opinion, the plunging economy needs to start affecting martini prices. I mean, geez.)

What have we got on tap tonight? The Browns vs Bills odds. Although we may end up with another “Snow Bowl” tonight – the weather hasn’t been looking pretty lately; good for Santa Claus Parades all over the country, bad for any sport with an open dome – it’s a solid bet that the outcome will be a lot different. Sure, the Bills look good, but the Browns have got the newbie power of Brady Quinn who, although he isn’t yet in any cologne ads or fronting the cover of Men’s Vogue, has been looking great on the field lately. And that’s what counts. (Don’t tell Peyton Manning or Tom Brady I said that, though.)

Not like those wacky Canadian football players and their odd touchdown celebrations:

(BTW, anybody else think TSN is gonna make a mess of CFL Grey Cup coverage? Mass media seems to think so)

Pssst, hey. Step off that sportsbook for a sec, this is important news: Did you know Shaq has a Twitter account?

Twitter, for the technologically uninformed masses that don’t read Wired on a regular basis (shame on you), is a microblogging service that lets its users post 140-letters-or-less updates on their life at the moment. Or at least, that’s its original intention.

Our hero Shaq? He plugs Vitamin Water. And, as NBA FanHouse made the keen observation, disses his rivals with razor-sharp wit — all in 140 letters or less. Who said the big man has no creative talent? (Quiet there, you Kazaam detractors)

The Big Cactus gets his protein one ham at a time.

Just like Shaq’s typeface Attack (whether legit or no), NBA betting is on fire right now. Some of us are already looking ahead to NBA MVP odds, and though O’Neal can’t match up to the likes of Kobe, at least we’ll always have the Twitterfeed. Am I the only girl who’d like to see what Steve Nash does with his day?

Sidney Crosby, you’re so fine
I wish that I could make you mine.

My love for you just can’t wait,
I don’t care that you’re practically jailbait.

We could share personal grooming tips,
And live off money from your sponsorships!

Off the ice, you’re as nice as can be,
Not at all like that douchebag, Sean Avery.

And on the ice, you’re a sight to see,
But please, this year, no more injuries.

Just ignore Alexander Semin’s verbal racket,
At least your last name doesn’t mean ejaculate.

The Stanley Cup will be yours at last,
Then you and me, Kid, we’ll have a blast.

(Mario can come too)

Bet on NHL. Go Pens go!

Again in the category of surprising-sports-women-love: NASCAR.

Now, I didn’t really think too much about NASCAR until my mom professed her love for the motorsport. In fact, she has some kind of ambition to go to Talledega one of these years. (Then again, my mom also has a secret love of horse racing which has nothing to do with the crazy hats the fashionistas wear to the Kentucky Derby odds race)

For those of us ladies who aren’t my mom (who is awesome, btw) – or Nicole Scherwhawhosit, the Pussycat Doll who’s dating current Formula 1 champ Lewis Hamilton – and seek a little more excitement from the cars going around and around in a circle until someone crashes into a fiery ball of destruction, there’s always NASCAR betting. Jimmie Johnson – the newest inductee into The Most Boring Champions Club – looks to have this Sunday’s Ford 400 odds all wrapped up championship-wise, but your real best pick of the event is Kevin Harvick. Yeah, he’s a relative unknown, but he’s got great value and a decent chance of taking the thing all the way to the bank, champagne bottles and all. And, you know, a decent chance not crashing his car into a fiery ball of destruction.

Awesome.

Still, I think my mom’s got her money on Jeff Gordon – “because he seems like such a nice young man”. You know how it is. (Just make sure you pick a good sportsbook, k?)