Ah, Super Bowl season — the time when a young man’s fancy turns to a different sort of, er, tight end. Not so coincidentally, then, do a number of lists emerge around this time of year with “proper instructions” for girlfriend behavior during the Super Bowl (to say nothing for trying to advise him on his sportsbook picks!). And seriously, there’s little more that aggravates me to such an extent — except for possibly the level of misogyny among sports fans, but I suppose that’s a given when the entire culture is 90% male.

But really, let’s take ourselves out of the Stone Age for a second and look at the big picture: girls like sports. Girls like betting on sports. Girls like the whole package in general. Sure, you’re not going to find that prized trait in every girl - nor can you instill it in whatever girl you’re dating at the moment - but it’s becoming more and more common these days to find women give’n ‘er with the lads at the local sports bars.

To that end, a few enterprising women have come up with websites on how to “cope” with Super Bowl weekend. Let’s go over a few of these, shall we?

Super-Bowling Sunday! at Girlfriend Celebrations. Candy-pink layout aside, this isn’t quite a primer for the Super Bowl as it is the idea for ladies to have a “bowling party” on that fated February Sunday instead. There’s a little too much talk here about pink bowling balls and mini-ball bags (insert your own crude joke, hyuk). Not impressed over here. This is the kind of thing that reinforces the idea that all women would rather be doing something, anything else than watch sports, or bet on the Super Bowl, or what have you. Next.

How to Contribute to Your Husband’s Enjoyment of the Super Bowl. Wow. That title there says it all (and really makes me wonder if a man secretly wrote this piece). How to contribute to his enjoyment? What is this, the 1950s? Gender equality is in, honey — never mind the catering to his every whim, only speaking when spoken to, et cetera. Get your ass on the couch and enjoy it with him — and tell him to get his own beer or make his own Super Bowl bet while he’s at it.

What’s a lesbian to do with the NFL? Definitely a neat read, even for us breeders (j/k), especially for the top flowchart graphic alone. Of course, it also sort of reinforces the belief that if you’re a woman who loves football, you’re a lesbian - or, consequently, if you’re a lesbian, you have to love football - but it’s a good look at things from a different perspective, no pink layouts or mozzarella-stick recipes required.

That’s good enough for now, I think. In the meantime, with less than a week to go, why don’t we focus on what we’re going to do for the Super Bowl, no pre-programmed gender roles or defined boxes required? That’ll be a good start.